Artsy Maze Post 5/5

BILLY NOT REALLY (kinda rhymes, I guess?)
Nah I'm just drake and joshing you. I'm still gonna call myself Billy. Because Billy is my name.

HELLO. HOO HOO HOO. For my last and final swan song to end all swan songs, Christoph asked me (we're on a first-name basis, I call him "Christoph" because we're bros, but you can't because you're new to this thing) to tell you about how I met Shem.

It was weird actually. All this time I thought Christoph was making this Shem guy up. But then about five or eight days after I read the ending to Viceking's Graab this guy ran into me in the park. He looked all weird actually, with a walking stick he didn't need, with a chiselled face the origins of which are unknown to science, with a hat of the blackest shadows ever to be blacked out by the sun, and a pipe in his mouth that he was waving around with his hands like a gun, and he asked me if I wanted to go get some cheeky nandos with him and the boys. So I was like "fuck no what are you talking about, are you one of those cultists following the gay agenda or something, I am a happily married man with my girlfriend and I have plenty of food at my house already" not that I was inviting him over or anything "and like first of all where do you get off" not that I was asking about the details of how he gets off "trying to tell me what is and isn't cheeky, THIS IS THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE BUSTERBALLS DON'T YOU TRY AND TELL ME WHAT IS AND ISN'T ONE WORD AND ISN'T OR IS THE OTHER, I swear with my right hand to the high church of ender men from Minecraft that English is my preachy language and YOU HAD BETTER SPEAK IT WHEN TALKING TO ME. Don't kill me!" Then I crossed the street to walk on the other sidewalk and hurried on. I'm not being racist but that guy looked a little too Irish for my comfort.
Then when I met with Christoph and the guys the other day, back in the bar, being all manly and stuff, that's when he told me that Shem was only trying to ask me what time it was.

Shem and I don't really get along. He's a bit weird actually.

Anyway. I guess that's the last thing Christoph wanted me to write. Apparently that's.. the end of it for me? I'm nowhere else in the maze? I mean that's cool. I didn't want to be in it anyway. Actually I always hated the viceking y'know.

Artsy Maze Post 4/5

Oh summer! Oh winter! Life! Death! Death again! Then life! That's the cycle, don't wear it in with the old, out with the new! Let me say that again for dexterity: IN WITH THE OLD, OUT WITH THE NEW! It's symbolic. I learned about symbolism in class today.

Hi guys, this is Billy Everyblogger, Blogger Extrordinare. Today I am going to talk to you about the unknown. So the Slenderman is the Slenderman of the Unknown, right? But isn't that a little funny? 'Cause like Slenderman was made by Victor Surge, we know all about Slenderman, we've written him to like death and stuff. If Slenderman was a country, he would have no uncharted territory. And yet we label him Slenderman of the Unknown. How can he be the unknown when we know all about him? This is one of the questions that Magreat tells me he will answer in the tomb of the unknown soldier.

I'm deep.

Artsy Maze Post 3/5

Oh summer! Oh winter! Life! Death! Death again! Then life! That's the cycle, don't wear it in. All depends on the terminverbinverminology. This room, hahaaaaa! Look around you, all the pretty colours! There's grey, black, red, more grey, more black, more red, and a splash of whitewash here and some's there. Plasticine plastered over annals and blood canals. The Odyssey, forgotten and oh my how immortal. But at least Trilby's getting a direct-to-DVD!

When even Borges's sunken gorges he calls his eyes are dramatized and we're soon acclimatized to Cheeseborges-and-fries, that's when you know and then you throw the empyre.

lol look at me guys I'm writing for Archangard and Magreat! Hey I'm Billy Everyblogger. This is so cool lololol. They told me to write something about "introducing the birth of meaning?" Who the hell talks like that, am I right? So hey guys. Hi, how are you guys doing? Hey! I'm Billy! I wrote a blog once, did you know? It was called Fearblog of Fear, Dreams and Sleep and Fear. It was the bomb, Magreat really liked it so he wrote some fanfic once called Blog Without a Fist or whatever, I read it and it was pretty cool. I'm popular now! I'm glad SOMEbody liked my blog, lol, I kinda caused a loud reaction, I mean what is this, an atomic explosion? lol. I guess you could say I *sunglasses* shot the Fear Mythos dead. All part of my plan. I'm a criminal genious, you see. That's what I do now I dropped out of college or whatever it was in order to farther my career as a criminal. And my first target, I guess you could say, was the Fear Mythos itself. The people just can't handle my deep blog about the Slendermen. So anyway hi again, do you readers wanna hang out? I'll be chilling elsewhere in this pyramid if you wanna hang. Church! Right on! Bitch! Let's get outta this joint, the Fear Mythos is too unforgiving to be able to handle our deepness, am I right or am I right? Plus it's dead anyway since I killed it and all. With my gun. That feels important somehow but I dunno. Oh I gotta go, that Shem guy's here and he's with The Feared One.

"billyyouhavetogonowShemishereandheiswithme" said the Feared One in a gutterally low voice.

Alright, alright already! I'm going! lol So anyway see you guys later.

Artsy Maze Post 2/5

Oh summer! Oh winter! Life! Death! Death again! Then life! That's the cycle, don't wear it in. Ah fuck it I can't keep this up.

Hey guys this is Billy Everyblogger writing for Archangard and Magreat. They wanted to make it easier to make this really cool maze they're making so they asked me to write a few posts. And don't worry. Ive hidden them all really well from each other, none of that interconnected stuff. lol. So anyways did I ever tell you guys the story of when I met that Shem guy? It was epic. I won't tell you it now though.

Instead let me tell you about.. DUN DUN DUN (that was wordplay for "dramatic pause") THE MYTHOS OF THE FEAR DELIVERER.

Yeah I got your attentuin now didn't I? "A mythos? For The Fear Deliverer, Slenderman of Fear or whatever it was I said he was Slenderman of?" You know it, N-WORRRRRD! loljk I'd never say n**** I'm white that'd be against the law. But yeah the Fear Deliverer Mythos started a long time ago, this guy called nOWOn or something built a boat and invited all these hot chicks and smooth dudes with him and together they fought the Slendermen. But at that time they weren't called the Slendermen, they were actually Envelopes, and each one of them contained a prized possession of, like, this girl called Mountain or something? Look ngl I have no idea what Magreat was thinking when he came up wit hthis shit. He made so much of it up, that's just bad writing. Between you and me and the buried I'm kind have a better writer than him. But so anyway like this Mountain girl threw her prized possessions into these Envelopes and it was up to nOWOn and his boat semen to open every one of them and imbue them them with the essence, nay the very embodiment, of Slender. And from there the Slendermen were born. But then the Fear Deliverer woke up from his pimped out "FEAR DELIVERY BED," guns blazing and ready to slap a bitch (that part of the story is my detail). And he succeeded! He really did! He was so guns blazing it you'd better call him The 420 Deliverer. But three minutes before he could smoke it up he had to go back to sleep?? Because of some asshole called Buckley. And now we gather around the preverbial fireplace in this graveyard to summon the Fear Deliverer's dad or something. Or maybe we're trying to wake up Buckley? 'Cause Buckley apparently also went to sleep? Or he's going to sleep, probably? I forgot how this story was supposed to end. The point is you're all hear reading my mythos because you're lost in this blog forever.

Imagine that. Lost in a blog forever. Is that even possible? lololololol foreshadowing much?

Artsy Maze Post 1/5

*waves lighter*